Free Market Capitalism: RIP

It might be time to bury the cold, dead corpse of free market capitalism and finally embrace the comforting love of state sponsored socialism. 

It will be so much more efficient to deliver services without having the extra expenses of competition spending billions on advertising, marketing, profit, speculation, duplicitous administrations and budgets.

Imagine our new economy and how efficient it will be.

With only one bank, the Bank of the United States Treasury-Goldman Sachs, all people in the country will be required to open up a single checking account. All savings will be fully insured (no more $100,000 limit) with the full faith and credit of the United States Treasury, ensuring that deposits from around the world will end up here. Without greedy capitalist bankers, hard working, honest, unionized government bankers will be able to make loans to businesses that focus on social consciousness, not solely on profit.

With only one insurance company, the United States Treasury--AIG, our politicians will finally offer universal insurance. With the cost savings, we no longer will have to worry about multi line discounts--home, auto, life, flood, tornado, crop, etc. Regardless of the tragedy, everything will be covered because the pool will be so large it will be able to absorb the costs. In the unfortunate event your boyfriend breaks up with you, with an insurance pool this big, there should be plenty of room to pay for a week of shopping and ice cream to help you feel better.

And what an efficient system it will be, as we will be able to direct deposit payments from the checking account directly to the insurance premiums. More importantly, we will be able to provide the same level of service to all citizens, regardless of income. No longer will we have to hate large insurance companies, because they will no longer exist. No more pre-existing condition riders. And we should be finally allowed to introduce preventative medicine measures, too. I do believe there should be enough room in the budget to make water taste like cream and granola taste like fat.

Having one large bank has its advantages, too. We will make it illegal to open any other banking accounts oversees thereby eliminating tax cheats and illegal money laundering. The rich will finally pay their fair share of taxes. Another advantage is to provide loans to people in inner cities and minorities who have been left out of the capitalist system. 

When the government needs money, it will be easier to find out who has most of the money and devise a more efficient system to transfer it. Instead of an income tax, we can just levy a savings tax. This seems to be a more fair system while creating a fair society. For this to work, we will need to close down the stock market, as it involves too much risk and it would be easier to levy the wealth tax if everyone had their wealth in one location.

And it would be important to have the government own other industries as well, namely the automobile and energy industry. If the government owns the auto industry, we could finally be able to build energy efficient, non-polluting cars. One simple piece of legislation should guarantee profit for the new United States Treasury--GM auto company. Simply creating a mandate that half of all cars bought in America must be purchased from the state owned auto company will ensure success. 

If the government owned all the oil companies, we could eliminate the obscene profits and return that money back to the people. Congress could outlaw oil in 15 years transitioning from oil, coal and even nuclear to solar panels, compressed swamp gas. With such a timeframe, it is important to create new technological research.  We should plan on studying such energetic possibilities as inorganic matter energy farms using the heat from desert silica sand and to harness wind in with my new invention, the sailcar. With a well-written application to the Bank of the US Treasury-Sachs, I plan on securing a grant based on the idea of getting everyone going in the same direction (unless the wind isn't blowing that day).

It is time to completely take over the agriculture industry with the new Department of Agriculture-ADM, Tyson Food Company. No more need for subsidies. Our country is too reliant on protein. All of this corn production which goes to feed livestock such as cattle, pork and chicken is a very inefficient way to feed a population. It simply takes too much energy. When we nationalize the agriculture industry, we could move to a more healthy diet of fruit and vegetables, saving money and lowering the average weight of the population by 15%, thereby reducing the medical costs of the population by 25%, an amazing savings.

We know this will work, because we have seen the government perform very well in the past. Just look at the Social Security System, the VA Hospital System, and the education system. 

It may be true that not a single state owned economy in the world has really worked that well, but we can learn from their mistakes. Anyone who disagrees with this must die, you capitalist pig!